Nothing more.

It's been over 2 months.

Since I moved to KL and continue my degree.

Yes, life sucks at the beginning, and it does get better.

But not really better at the same time.

I always know what I want and what I should do.

So I made a decision to come up here,

for everything I've been pursuing for so long.

I'm always a loner,

I've get used to it already but this time is different.

I found no one to talk with at the starting point,

uhhhh but I did found one and then problems strikes again.

It's all because of me myself, like every single time.

It seems like I pushed the wall down every time when things and life got better.

Funny right?

I'm one of those who never really like to be annoyed when I'm doing my stuff,

so maybe that's why whenever I found someone to talk with,

I  forbid myself from talking.

I tell myself to shut up.

I felt like I talked to much.

I'M AFRAID THAT I ANNOYED SOMEONE TIL THEY DON'T GIVE A FUCK AT ALL.

I felt like I'm such a dumb for annoying people with my own problems.

and maybe I should just shut the crap up and live my own life again.

But maybe there's another cause.

I appreciate every single individuals who appreciate me.

I treat everyone the same way.

I mean,

LIKE ALWAYS.

And it sucks for being pointed here and there just because I suddenly changed my attitude to someone.

I mean, where's the point tho? I don't get it.

If today people treat me like I'm his or her friend,

then thank you I appreciate that so much and I will treat you like my friend too.

But if you treat me like a monster, like my face fuck your life up,

then I'm sorry that I disgusted you and make your life so bad.

I will just withdraw not because I surrender for some bullshits reason,

I just don't want people to feel bad, sad and unhappy.

No I ain't no saint,

It's only because I know what it felt like to be unhappy. 

It sucks for being judged like treating a person nicely is a disgusting action.

That is just the worse feeling I could ever have.

I shut myself in my room, stay at the corner and not saying a single shit at all doesn't mean I hate this world and everyone around me.

I was born like this, with a perfect fuckface of mine.

No you don't understand how happy I am to find a friend who you could share shits and not care about anything at all.

But it's like you need miracle for that to happen.

sighhhhhhhh,

I can't find a way to elaborate what happened to me anymore.

Cigarettes doesn't help anymore.

All I need now is a dog, a cat, a panda or maybe a unicorn.

So I could hug and cuddle them when I need one.

(No, penguin will die in Malaysia, it's too hot =.=)